People of color in the US, especially Asian males, must accept that the dating culture is not in their favor. In public places, one might be able to have a positive interaction at least. However, the probability of success in dating is more challenging on mediums, such as dating websites and apps.
The anonymity of online dating gives females freedom of discrimination without the awkwardness that comes with personal rejection. Also, if statistics are accurate, the answer is yes to the question, “Do Asian guys have a hard time dating?”
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Seven Reasons Asian Guys Find It Hard To Date
When it comes to dating and relationships, especially in the West, Asians are disadvantaged in finding a match. With that in mind, let's explore the most notable reasons why Asian guys find less success in dating.
1. Confidence
Asian guys are not necessarily the most confident group of people you'll ever encounter. They are not known to make the first move and are reluctant to voice their feelings. In short, Asian guys are generally more reserved than others.
There's plenty of reasons why their confidence is not up to par with their peer. It could be because of upbringing, financial standing, or just being uncomfortable with social interaction.
More often than not, ladies like their men with a bit of bravado because it projects strength and a sense of self-assurance.
2. Language Barrier
This reason is exclusive for those who have lived in a foreign country recently. It would be next to impossible to date someone if you cannot speak a common language.
Sure, smartphones can translate some words and phrases for you, but they are not accurate enough to carry a conversation. If you're not completely fluent in the language of the country you're in, you're better off learning how to speak first before worrying about dates.
Communicating with someone you like can be challenging by itself, much more if you don't speak the same language.
3. Physical Attributes
This could be the most prevalent answer or excuse for why do Asian guys have a hard time dating. Unless the looks are like a K-pop star, there's a very slim chance that someone who grew up in the West will find an Asian guy attractive.
It could be attributed to racism, which is quite a prominent subject in Western media. Whether you can blame the age-old issue of race or not, it's hard to dispute that Western ladies are not keen on dating Asian guys.
Male attributes such as height and body type are significant considerations for girls. Compared to Latinos, Africans, and Caucasians, it's common for Asians to find themselves lacking in those areas.
4. Media Portrayal
The lack of Asian guys in Western media generates a creative void in the imaginations of men and women in dating scenarios. The majority of Asian guys who appear in cinema and TV series will most likely have stereotype roles.
They either function as a try-hard sidekick, a scientist, a dedicated student, or characters that do not have a love interest. The number of lead Asian males who have a serious relationship in high-budget, popular American movies is very low.
Of course, there are exemptions to this notion as Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Jet Li have all been the main lead. However, their movies were viewed mainly by avid martial arts fans.
We have yet to see the Asian guy equivalent of Ryan Gosling, Richard Gere, or Paul Rudd. More often than not, this type of media portrayal has a negative impact on how the ladies view Asian guys.
5. Covid-19
The Covid-19 pandemic has crippled the world of dating because of the lockdowns and protocols that limit social interaction. Asian guys who live in the West find it the hardest.
Most, if not all, citizens blame China for the virus, which discriminated against Asians more prominent than ever. Even the Asian NBA basketball player Jeremy Lin is not spared from the xenophobia as he is called “coronavirus” by his peer.
If a high-profile Asian is getting discriminated against, average Asian guys have it worse. Since the pandemic began, Asians have been the primary victims of hate crimes.
With these unfortunate circumstances, dating Asian guys have become significantly more challenging than ever.
6. Priorities
While the first five reasons have negative connotations, this one is not necessarily similar.
Generally, Asian guys who studied and worked in the West are more career-driven than other groups of people. They are more likely to prioritize getting a good-paying job, looking to own a house, and helping their siblings finish their studies.
With these goals, they have less time to meet someone, go out on dates, or be in relationships. That's why dating sites and apps have become popular for them because they don't have the time to do it the old-fashioned way.
As we all know, it will take some time before achieving these goals because despite being extremely dedicated.
By the time Asian guys are ready to date, their youthful vigor is not there anymore. When they reach the mid-thirties, they'll less likely find someone who will be interested, except probably for Asian women of the same age.
7. Parent's Approval
In dating and marriage prospects, Asian girls and guys take their parents' approval seriously or follow their preferences.
Unlike Western guys who don't consider their parents' opinion or approval, Asian guys tend to seek their family's blessing before getting serious with girls. It's probably a byproduct of Asians being family-oriented because once the woman is accepted, she'll get treated as a family member immediately, married or not.
Are Asian Guys Undesirable?
Asian male characters in cinema and television have long been marginalized, emasculated, and denied the opportunity to engage in romantic or sexual relationships.
The innumerable desexualized and contemptuous depictions of Asian males in Hollywood have unconsciously promoted Asian male inferiority. This stereotype becomes an unavoidable, pervasive cliché, restricting Asian representation in media and our culture's collective thought.
The females in Western society might have unconsciously accepted this unflattering portrayal. According to a study, Asians who live in the US are labeled as the least desirable for potential partners.
While the media's culpability regarding why do Asian guys have a hard time dating is debatable, physical traits are probably the main culprit. Let's be honest; being short is typically seen as unattractive in men.
Although some women might be sexually interested in dating short guys, it's considered an anomaly. More often than not, girls love their guys six feet tall or more.
Asians' average height is shorter than Caucasians and other races. The disparity is more evident when you are in a multicultural community.
To sum it up, the attractiveness of Asian guys is not highly valued in the West. They have a better success of meeting someone and will take them seriously in their native country. Interracial dating might be fun, but it's not always going to be a success.
How To Become More Desirable
Besides checking out online dating tips, there are some ways to improve their dating success.
- Assertiveness
It might sound cliche, but women love their men to take the reigns, especially in dating and relationships. By being more assertive but respectful, you're projecting confidence and maturity, which are important qualities.
- Physical Fitness
To combat the notion that Asian guys are frail, they have to make their muscles work.
Asians do not have the genetic advantage that Black people have when it comes to physical features. As such, gym workouts should be a regular occurrence.
- Social Skills
Asian guys are not regarded as “fun” by people in the West. When it comes to women, they love someone who makes them laugh and has interesting stories.
The Challenges Asian Guys Face When Dating
Asian guys have the short end of the stick when it comes to dating due to various reasons. However, with the proper dedication and attitude, they'll have a better chance of success.